Hey there, I'm Charlee, AKA Tina. Just want to know what this blog might be about? The ramblings of a 40+ year old hormonal woman that sometimes feels like she's going crazy. Challenges require changes which I plan to take one step at a time with varied results. Blogging is being used for its therapeutic benefits and laughter being the prescription of choice.
About Me-{short version}-When allowed to, I ramble. After I turned 40 I just couldn't seem to help it. Some look at me like I'm crazy but I seriously don't think I am. At least not yet :) I mean really, doesn't everyone have days they sound/feel like they are going crazy? Well dont' they?!?! Ok, I've started to ramble again so let me quickly offer that short description. Previous owner of an eco-commerce, I am now a 46 yo SAHM that is not ready for all many changes and challenges that started after turning 40. C4C was intended to be a private journal for therapeutic reasons. To learn to let go of some changes while embracing others. But since both can and usually occur in all women’s lives, whether ready or not, I decided changing this blog for each follower to be able to participate would be the best kind of therapy!
About Me {Long Version} Mom used to tell me that when I got older changes were going to happen that may challenge me. Not just puberty, I mean other things that I would go through in life as I aged. To be careful, to take care of my body....blah blah blah is all I guess I heard because I know if she were alive now she would enjoy hearing me say, "Mom, you were right".
I'm a mutt. What causes me to say such a thing? Well, I lived in the rural south until I was 6. My birth father had died when I was two leaving behind not only his wife/our mom but my two brothers who were at the time 15 and 18 and of course me who was only 2. Four years later my mom and I were lucky enough to have met my Dad who was a northerner. We got married then left my large extended family to move up north. Being raised by a rural southern mom and a northerner gave me the ability to speak two languages-yankee and southern. My ramblings will teeter between them both. Lucky you!
I am blessed to be married to a wonderful, loving man and mother to 3 pretty freak'n awesome kids-a 25 year old, a 19 year old in college from a previous marriage and also a 2 year old who is almost 3. I have am a bit of a smart-a with a touch of wacky humor that if you follow me you will definitely get a taste of. Ok, let's get this next part over with so things can move on.
I was be a happy positive thinking everyday kind of person that could handle/take on/deal with just about anything. A hard worker, never like feeling weak or using meds unless absolutely necessary. I always enjoyed being the one my friends/family could depend on for anything too. Some called me stubborn and strong willed for not asking for help but I wanted to be "tough". I now know it's called being stupid because like Mom told me to do, to be careful, I did not so now I try to slow down. Among other things, I was told by a couple of my Drs that I should probably close my e-commerce and start keeping a journal for therapeutic benefits. I chose to start another blog instead, just one that was more personal. Why was this needed? I'm glad you asked :)
This is my pity party that I invited to share but after this I am done with it-moving forward EXCEPT for my "Bitch'n Britches" (sassy britches) posts which you are HIGHLY encouraged to attend:) Along with many other life changing events that occurred in my life within the time frame of 1.5 years the news of my best friend being diagnosed with first 4th then 3rd stage leukemia and the loss of my mom (from cancer-click for more on that) and one of my brothers hit me the hardest. That seem to cause the damn to break. I then had to deal/cope with the loss of an uncle, a nephew, my sister in law's head injury that required her to be lifted by flight for life, surgeries like an emergency appendix removal, my first miscarriage, finding out that infertility happens as you age, first and only round of fertility treatment, my own cancer scare, peri-menopause, the process of adoption and the loss of employment. What did I notice first to happen? Stuttering-not being able to remember even simple words that I needed to say. I thought I surely had a minor stroke but nope, stress. Without me knowing it's too much, that is actually my wake up that woah there nelly, pace myself.
But wait, there's more! I felt I wasn't contributing enough so I also started a business, that had to be closed just two years later. I decided to feel the void I was feeling and the sudden outrageous fear of cancer by tackling the task of eating healthier, start exercising, going green and making sure my little baby girl had only organic foods in her life. In the beginning I really enjoyed the chaos of it all; it helped to keep me busy for two years; to keep my mind off those events but we all know what will eventually happen, a crash. I, my husband and I decided I had to close my e-commerce to work on me.
I just wanted to scream! I felt my body had betrayed me, thought I took pretty good care of it. Part of me was angry, sad and disappointed while the stubborn side of me said "You got this but here are days I get depressed over it; most other days I toughen up, suck it in and go on as if I have no aches or pains. I'm not on any meds-I have tried but the side effects are ones that I don't care to deal with on top of the other. For those days I feel the weight I walk, I meditate, I BREATHE! I do realize there are many, many others that have it so much worse and that their challenges are harder and I hate that. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence until...So that was my pity party. Thank you for attending and just like I said, it's OVER!
What's next? Even though from time to time I may have minor set backs, my heart and focus is truly on making "Changes-Take One Step At A Time" but opening up will be the hard part.
